What a nice night. It's nice to be sitting here, even at this late hour, relaxing and listening to some good music. Nights like these are pretty hard to come by usually. I had a really good weekend, full of friends and good times.

Coon (of Wavorly fame) had a bachelor party Friday/Saturday that was probably the most fun I've had in a long time. Twelve of us guys just having a great time hanging out, gambling (just a little, mind you) and letting loose. A celebration, really, of being young and happy.

I feel like I'm really in a good place right now. I'm realizing a couple dreams, which are working with youth and learning (and weekly performing) on guitar. And singing. These are things that I feel have really centered me and helped me to rely on God more. I analyze things and enjoy the hardships that come with both. Teenagers and chords have a lot in common, actually. Both pose problems that come with experience...learning teens and learning the correct chord progressions are two really rewarding things. Weird, I'm sure, but it's true.

We had a roast Friday night for Coon's bachelor party that was hilarious. I got roasted a good bit this time around, mostly about being a single guy for over 2 years now. It was all in good fun, and I laughed pretty much loudest about the jokes, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't make me think. I've enjoyed my time alone, and have grown as a person so much...but a part of me really is ready to find "the one" and settle down. I'm not sure if that's coming from peer pressure (most people my age around here are married or engaged, or at least in serious relationships) or if it's an honest urge. I just hope I can use some discernment in my choices.

Another thing I got roasted about was by Seth (also of Wavorly) who remembered that I had a beeper when we first met. I laughed, because it was true. However it was because I had a job at the hospital where I was on call, and they'd call me at all hours of the night to do menial things like change toner in a printer, or fix a monitor. I remember one night Corrie and Michelle (from Florida) were staying with me and sure enough I got called in at 2 AM. As I was heading out, looking particularly haggard with my messed up hair and glasses, Corrie volunteered to accompany me. We were quite the sight at the hospital, pushing around this buggy with printers and parts on it, looking pretty rough. The older women on night shift really got a kick out of it. It's one of those fun memories I'll never forget.

I think I'm in a nostalgic mood tonight. It's cool, though. I hope I get more opportunities to relax and just reflect. It's been such a great weekend. And honestly, my life has been pretty great so far, and I can't help but to think it's gonna get even better.

Disclaimer: Long post ahead...

Four years ago, I worked for a company called YouthWorks. I had three co-workers in Booneville, Arkansas. All summer long, we held camp for kids from different parts of the United States. There were usually about 70 to 80 kids weekly, not counting adult leaders.

Riki was the administrator of our staff. She took care of finances and all types of organizing that needed to be done. She was also the main encourager of our staff…always quoting random verses to us, giving us little gifts, and taking us out to dinner when we needed it the most. Marissa was in charge of Kids Club, which consisted of organizing games and crafts with a Christ-filled center all while directing teenagers to take care of and teach children below the age of 12. It was a tough job, maybe the toughest of all of us. Jeremy led the teenagers in mission projects around town. Booneville was not the worst or most impoverished town in Arkansas, but it still needed help. There were many people around who just needed someone to come to them…to be there for them, and to serve them. And my job was to bring the Word every night.

I took my responsibilities very seriously, and often would find myself physically and mentally (not to mention spiritually) drained after every “talk”. I did the same lessons week in and week out, but put little variances in there to keep the staff from falling asleep as the weeks went on. Luckily for me, they were always gracious and complimentary to me, never discouraging or making me feel like I was repetitive. That summer, God stretched me as far as speaking in front of people. He also stretched me with music.

I have always been a music fanatic. When I went to Minneapolis for my YouthWorks training, I left all my music behind (except for a few Christian CDs of mine, some I bummed off of Clay, and Weezer’s Blue Album). Also, I had never really been part of a church with a contemporary service, so when we started practicing songs for worship, I was a little underprepared. As it turned out, Jeremy was a good guitar player and Marissa and Riki knew all sorts of camp-appropriate music. I took it upon myself to learn to sing and help Jeremy with some background vocals.

As our summer progressed, Jeremy and I became more comfortable with one another (we shared a room, and on the first day we met, we had to go to a community shower together…there wasn’t much time to feel uncomfortable). He began playing other songs in our spare time…some secular stuff, some Christian songs that he just knew. And one that stuck out in my head was a song by a Minneapolis band called Pegtop. Jeremy would sing it almost daily (and in fact performed it in front of our home church one Sunday morning). The song was titled “Everything I Own”, but we thought it was called “Pure In Heart”.

Long story short, our summer ended and we all went our separate ways. I went back and got a job, but still longed for the close relationships I’d made. I also wanted to be close to God like I was while doing my talks. The feeling I got from serving just humbled me in a very powerful way.

A few weeks after I’d been home, I got an email from Jeremy with the chords and lyrics to “Everything I Own”. He sent it with very kind words…words telling of things he could see God doing in me. Things I couldn’t see for myself. Very encouraging…this coming from a guy who would do anything he could to make me feel awkward or stupid. In a good, funny way, of course.

I printed the chords and lyrics out and planned to learn the song. I could remember the tune perfectly. I had dabbled in guitar while a high school/college student, but sort of gave up. I never got around to learning the song and instead saved the email in my inbox.

A few years passed and I had what could be best described as a tumultuous relationship with God. I still believed, never doubted His work or what He could do, but decided to run from Him for a while. He dealt with me, and that’s a story for another time. But He ultimately plugged me into my home church where I began working with youth again. This was early 2006, and I’m still there today.

Jumping to present day, about a month and a half ago, we took the youth to camp. A guy in my group who has moved up to a leadership position asked if I thought we could get a band kick-started. Instinctively I said yes, despite not having picked up a guitar in years. I started picking around, though, and was getting nowhere. Then I saw at my local music shop a DVD by Jean Welles that taught how to play acoustic worship for small groups. I bought it and learned so much in just days that I felt stupid for squandering years.

After learning basic songs I remembered from YouthWorks, I dug the Pegtop song up from my email. I printed it out and played it by myself at home one night, and the song moved me to tears. I decided to continue practicing it and then doing a worship special one day with this song. I’m still working on that, by the way.

It was about a week ago that I realized I’d never actually heard the original version, only Jeremy playing it in our makeshift bedroom. I began looking for Pegtop songs everywhere. I struck gold on eBay where I found their CD “Counting Tree” for $.05 (and $4.95 shipping, naturally). The description had no track listing, but that was fine, and so I got the CD on Wednesday of this past week. “Everything I Own” was not on the album. I began looking more places, and settled on MySpace, where I found a fansite with some tracks listed for streaming. Still couldn’t find my song, though.

Suddenly, genius struck. Give them a comment and get your song! So I did. That’s where things get really cool.
Within minutes, I get a reply saying that the song will be posted on their page. I go to it and listen, and I’m amazed. Even better than I expected.

Then , moments ago, I get an email from Christy, who runs the site. I’ll copy and paste here.

"Hi it's Christy,

Just thought you might like to know that your request was perfectly timed. This week a boy in Minnesota died in a car accident and a friend of his sister's contacted me because she was trying to find a song of Pegtop's that had really touched him when he was 10 years old... they wanted to use it for his funeral. And so there was a little bit of a circus today w/me calling/emailing the guys, & we were all trying to find out how to get a certain CD to her because she wasn't sure which song without listening.

And then, after all that, it turned out she'd requested the wrong CD, and the song was 'Everything I Own'. She wrote me to say she'd 'figured it out' because I'd posted this song, and that she didn't think it had been up yesterday.

So, thanks for being used by God without even knowing it!

Have a great night!

-- C."

How amazing is that? Something I thought was personal, something I thought was totally about me, was used for something much much more. Something larger and more important. I’m so blessed to be used, and I don’t deserve it. It’s so neat to be able to look back and see how things come together. But above everything, it’s obvious that God has a will. I’m part of it and you are too, even if you don’t know it yet.

So please listen. To His will, that is. And also the song, which is at http://www.myspace.com/pegtop. And thanks for reading.